Most Inspired Time of Day

My most inspired time of the day is mornings. That's when I'm driving to work. I'm freshly showered, dressed in my business "uniform", full makeup on & buzzed with caffeine. My radio is on NPR with a mix of news, traffic, weather & amusing stories about people, things & places. I assume that all the other drivers are also on their way to work & that makes me feel like such a productive citizen. Never mind that some are probably going to LAX to pick up their mother-in law or a friend, one may be going to a hearing  for embezzlement & so on & so forth. Usually it's a crisp bright day & the sky is so blue. Every morning the day seems full of promise. I feel creative, energized; like I could do anything. I listen to a story about micro loans, for woman in developing countries to start a business so their family won't starve. I listen to an American female journalist who had gone to Afghanistan to cover the war & stayed & founded a non-profit organization to aid in rebuilding the country. A teacher in China is teaching grade school children about environmental pollutants so they can save the yellow river. There are thousands upon thousands of people who do incredible deeds every day, some against great odds. I try to think of things I could do, anything to make a positive impact. I think I want to volunteer in battered woman's shelters, or become a teacher & work in inner city schools. I'm worried about our youth in general, their involvement with gangs & drugs, the low quality education they are getting and the alarming frequency of mass shootings by depressed teens. Then there is my yearning to write, I think I can write lyrics that are powerful, tender & honest. I want to do short stories about woman, their fascinating inner self & the violence that is being committed against them every day every where.

Then, I arrive to work. I park my car at lower  p4 in the underground parking on the same spot. I take 2 elevators to get to my office. The office is nice & clean & I have everything I need. But I have no window to the outside. By this time I have already become like a well programed robot. I unlock everything, turn my computer on, check voicemail, check email, get reports, make calls, get calls & on & on & on. Hunger & thirst don't bother me neither does a full bladder. The only thing that stops me is my nicotine craving that starts to nag after about 4 hours. By the time 6:300 rolls around I feel drained, defeated & hopeless. Now I'm not creative, energized nor do I feel I could do anything. I have forgotten all the inspiration's that I had in the morning. I drive home through the dark freeways like a crazed zombie fleeing my prison my dungeon & my robot self. By the way everybody else is driving I can tell they feel the same way I do.