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Friday, April 11, 2008

Yellow Straw Bag

Friday afternoon I'm driving home from work. I feel anger rising in me like a hot flash or maybe it is a hot flash I can't tell anymore. My boss had managed, yet again to insult my intelligence. When it happened I was so shocked and incredulous I couldn't say anything. But now in the car I had plenty to say. So while I'm driving in heavy traffic I pull out my company issue Blackberry turn it on put in my 8 digit pass code and dial his number. The dork answers. He has no life so he stays late Friday afternoons. I tell him I'm calling him because I'm very upset with him. He asks why. I said to him "actually I am livid". He asks "what's livid" English is not his mother tongue. I explain that it means furiously angry. Anyway what's important is that I'm going to lose my job. Not because my buss is stupid, not because I'm lazy, its the price of oil, it's the housing market, it's the interest rates, it's the recession. In a word "it's the economy stupid". I'm not making my sales goals, the corporate is not happy, I'm not thinking of the share holders, blah blah blah. I start dreaming about not working. How cool it would be? I will get up late, mope around the house in my robe and sleepers, drink coffee and smoke all I want, any time any where. I can watch day time soaps, catch up with Oprah and Dr. Phil. I see myself going to Santa Monica beach in the middle of the week, driving a convertible? I will carry a big yellow straw bag, I will be wearing a long white skirt and my long bleached hair will be blowing in the wind. Ooh, I'm in the heaven where women don't work, and have rich husbands who can afford health insurance. Finally I'm home, the dream is over. I will find another job, I have another 17 years to work so I'm looking forward to the $1700.00 a month I'll get from uncle Sam in 2025 so I can buy cat food. God bless America.