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Friday, September 26, 2008

I'm Still thinking

The last day I worked was August 27 so I have not been driving much. As my blog name implies I did much of my thinking when I was driving to and from work. But even though I haven't been driving I haven't stopped thinking. The only difference is that I have a lot more time to think. Not that I want to, I just do. When you don't have to occupy yourself with a paying job and you are home alone, you think. I think when I'm watching TV, I think when I'm washing dishes or cleaning the toilet. I think when I water the plants or clean the pool. I think before I fall sleep and as soon as I wake up. I always wake up between 6 and 7 and the first thing I do is make coffee. The second thing I do is to take my coffee and cigarettes to my patio and sit in my usual chair, drink coffee and smoke, smoke and drink until I think I'm awake. 

This is where all the thinking starts. I look at all the trees in my back yard and think what possessed my husband to plant all these fruit trees so close to each other. We have 3 pomegranate trees, 3 figs, 3 lemons, 2 apricots, one orange, one persimmon, one pear, and one grape vine. You would think we don't have to pay a penny  for fruits all summer but we do. There are so many other fruits that we like to eat specially melons which are my husband's favorites. 

I think about my fruitless job hunt and wounder how long I can survive without one. I think about the heartless corporation that I used to work for that forced me to quit when the going got tough. I think about the CEO s who line their pockets with millions as their companies are going belly up. I think about the mortgage brokers who sold loans to anyone who asked just to make commissions, and caused the state we are in today, with the same people not being able to pay their obligations and bankrupting major banks. Most of us like to think that people get what they deserve but that is not true. The more I think about things in general the more I believe that life has never been fair. It wasn't fair for Al Gore to lose the election, it wasn't fair for George Bush to become president twice. It wasn't fair that Elvis died so soon or John Lennon to be killed. 

The trees in my back yard are twisted and overgrown just to get some sunshine and that is not fair either.